I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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