we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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