Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize