lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
