but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How many fucks given?
0.12846
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
