And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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