I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
