Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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