oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
