since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize