he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
