what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
wow bdsm is so cute
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
