Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So many bounce houses so little time
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
