Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
