I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
