never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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