Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
