i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
