Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
