But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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