I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
