whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
