I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
