I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
