your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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