he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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