I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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