Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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