Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
