these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
