I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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