a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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