i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
