Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
