god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
