Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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