I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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