plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
