I'm eating all of the evidence.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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