I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize