This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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