Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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