I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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