Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
