Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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