He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
