He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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