dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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