My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Come share oat with me in your robe
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
