Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
