my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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