My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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