just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
