i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
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