well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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