she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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