Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
