Redeem this text for a blowjob
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
