i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
